It wasn't just the first Christmas we ever went to Disney. Nor was it just the first time we visited my Dad & Jenny at their new place in Florida. Or even just the first time we stayed at the Phelps' house.
There was another first this year.
For a little boy.
Named Otto Fox Wilder.
It was his first Christmas. Ever.
He won't ever have another first Christmas. And even though I know he won't have any recollection of this first Christmas, it was still pretty special to celebrate with him this year.
I think I can say confidently that this little boy was the absolute best thing to come out of 2009 for me.
And when I think back to this little boy pre-birth, I cringe at my own thoughts and I am ashamed of my own hesitations. I cannot believe the doubts I carried and the paths I allowed my mind to wander down. I am sorry. So sorry. (Oh, for a magic wand of Erasing The Past.)
We always purchase the kids one book for Christmas and the tradition has always been to place that wrapped book at the foot of the bed while you slept on Christmas Eve.
The book we bought for Fox's first Christmas is called Little Boy.
It is such a sweet book. (In fact, if you have a son - go order that book today. No. I am not getting commission. Although that would be cool.)
I am grateful (beyond my poor ability to express) to God for His scandalous mercy in allowing us the opportunity to know this last little Keigley. Our last little boy. My little boy. My Wilde Fox.
This is what I wrote in the cover of Otto's first Christmas book . . .
It's your first Christmas.
And so much of us depends on you.
On your beautiful grin - toothless and wide.
On your giggles. On your warmth as we cuddle.
What a blessing you are.
One we are so grateful to enjoy.
O Little Boy.
Let us live in the now.