01 September 2009

The Truth

Who wants to be real today?

Really real.

You know, my favorite posts are the ones that offer some insight, some truth, however small it is.

This isn't one of those posts.

I also sort of like the ones that are just plain funny. Where you see how hilarious kids can be when they just open their mouths.

You won't find that here today.

Today is just a regular day. With a regular message.

Or no message really.

All of these things that I write? These little bits of insight here and there? The God-inspired ones? They only feel true sometimes. Even if they are true all the time.

So here it goes - as if you didn't already know this . . .

I don't always practice what I preach. I yell at my children. I cry myself to sleep some nights. My marriage isn't perfect. My parenting skills are weak. I have no solutions. I take God's blessings for granted. Every day.

Like right now. I am struggling with jealousy. Ugly old jealousy. About a lot of things. Toward a lot of people. Most of them probably have no idea that I am jealous of them.

For example:

My husband - He leaves for a 15 day once-in-a-lifetime adventure to Israel next week. I want to go. I don't want to stay here. With six children. And a sick dog. Who is on medication. Who needs regular surveillance. And needs walks on a leash to avoid strenuous exercise.

My 15 year old daughter - Her social life is more active than mine currently. And she regularly indulges in a one and half hour long morning preparation routine.

Anyone Whose Children Are All Out of Diapers/ In School All Day/ Consistently Obedient and Kind/ Neat and Tidy

Anyone Whose Bank Account is Overflowing/ Who Doesn't Need to Use Coupons/ Whose Savings Accounts are Full

And that's just to name a few.

Don't try to reason with me. I know the truth, even when I don't feel it. I know that no one's life is perfect. I know that these days pass so quickly. I am glad Kevin gets to go to Israel. I wouldn't want Riley's life to burdened with financial concerns and childcare issues at fifteen. I know my kids are just kids and they do alright in the grand scheme of things. I know. I know. I know.


  1. an hour and a half!? Really, is that neccassary Riley?
    I liked this post, it is something I struggle with as well. I guess I just have to get over it.

  2. I try to pretend I am a positive person. My shower wall knows that isn't very true. Its my go to slab of ceramic to get all my vents and tears out. Poor poor shower, has to carry the burden of my sorrows.

  3. Sarah - the shower has always been a go-to place for me as well. It's like we think the sound of the water drowns out the other noises you make in there.

  4. Lacey,
    Nothing new from me, just the continuing fact that I am in awe of you!

  5. I love, love, love your real-ness!! Yes, we know and yes, we still struggle!