26 October 2009

Are You Sure?

I find myself always asking,

(repetitively, yes)

How can I best serve God?

(Right now. In this life. In the present.)

And the answer seems to always be given

(repetitively, yes)

softly in my mind,

boldly in my life.


By serving the people living at this house.

No, no, no.

Can't I do something glamorous?
Something big?
Exciting?
Cool?
Highly visible?
Dramatic?

God,
Don't you need a writer for a really popular magazine?
Do you need me to work at a theatre like Flat Rock Playhouse?
Do you want me to sell all of my possessions and travel across the country with my family in an RV for you?
Do you want me to sequester myself away in some private hideaway and write the next great novel?

Oh.

You
want
me
to stay
here?

To wash these clothes?
To wipe so many sticky hands?
To kiss golden heads when they cry?
To stay up late holding inconsolable babies?

To
serve
the
small
humans
who
may
(or may not)
ever say
thank you.

Are you sure?

Oh.

I am supposed to be busy
about the business
of
straightening
the
arrows
you gently placed
in
our
quiver?

Oh.

But . . . .
No one notices.
The hours are really long.
The salary is sub-standard.
The benefits
are
not entirely
tangible.

And
it's
hard.

Really hard.

Oh.

10 comments:

  1. Oh yes it is hard, but ohhhh so worth it! What a servant you are!

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  2. Lacey-I don't say it often enough, but I appreciate you raising such precious children that I have such a wonderful time playing with on a regular basis AND letting me get my baby fix by putting Wilder to bed...that made my night! I remember those thankless days well, but one day they will be 16 & 11(and more ages because you have more children than me times 3), and you will miss those days...can I come over right now?:)

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  3. Your reward will be in heaven for the "job" he has given you at this time. In the meantime you can continue writing this blog to allow us the privilege and blessing of "watching" your children grow up and helping us to see God through the lives of your children. Love your honesty and the blessing you are to me! And to think there was a time that you did not want children....what a waste of parental talent that would have been. Thanks for being open to the Lord's leading.
    Helen Rutrough

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  4. It is hard.
    You are not up to the challenge.
    Neither am I.
    Therein lies the answer for both of us.

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  5. "The hand that rocks the cradle steadies the nation!" There IS no more important ministry!!!! Love, Bob

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  6. I think ( I know) that God knew exactly what job you should be doing at this point in your life, the proof is that you do it so well and make it look so easy! You know you have some really great kids and that is due to the great parents that they have. Yes my dear, Someone does notice! You rock!!!

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  7. Silly God! He is alway getting it backwards... wait no, that is us. I always forget.
    Maggie

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  8. You're a good writer. Very poetic, even in your prose.

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  9. So . . . beautifully . . . said! Must print this out and keep in front of my eyes at all times!

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  10. Lacy, Let me first say that I so enjoy your posts, they make me laugh and cry and I appreciate your honesty and openness. Thanks for this wonderful reminder that what we do as moms is a great and high calling. Sometimes I forget. :)

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