Normal

Yesterday was just a normal day at the Keigley household.

If you consider this normal:

7 something a.m. - In the shower. Riley enters the bathroom. I don't recall any sound of someone knocking. She's on the phone with her tutor and wants to know if we can change that morning's tutoring session to an hour later. I think an hour later is a great idea.

7 something a.m. - I am exiting the shower. Towel wrapped around my body. London sheepishly enters the room holding a used diaper. I smell poop. Naturally, I am suspicious. Apparently London tried to "help" the family cause and attempted to change Finn's diaper by herself, unaware that the diaper held a toxic amount of excrement. And not all of said excrement made it to the diaper. Not exactly the type of situation to be put on hold, I help remedy the problem immediately. While still wearing only a towel.

7:40 a.m. - Mosely pulls on the towel. "Mom, I''m hung-ah-reeeee."

7:42 a.m. - Bergen pulls on my towel. "Mom, what's for breakfast?"

7:43 a.m. - London asks, "Mom, when can we eat?"

7:46 a.m. - Piper chimes in, "EAT!"

Has anyone told these kids that I'm still naked?

9:00 a.m. - Mosely dresses herself in a skirt that is so wrinkled that is appears to be six inches shorter than it should be, which makes it completely immodest, even for a five year old. Since I am a swell mom and since I know Mosely has been wanting to wear this skirt all summer, I decide to finally do what I have been promising her I would do for the skirt - iron it. It's full of pleats. I hate ironing. But I drag the ironing board out, heat up the iron and spend more than eight minutes on a silly wrinkled plaid skirt.

9:15 a.m. - In an effort to "make Mommy happy" the girls take out loads and loads of laundry and pile them on mine and Kevin's bed. Our unmade bed. It doesn't really make Mommy happy.

9:25 a.m. - Bergen wants to help put the sheet on Piper's toddler bed so I send both Bergen and Piper off to her room to see what they can do, with no silly expectations of success mind you.

10:30 a.m. - I begin to nurse Otto. While sitting down, you know.

10:31 a.m. - Riley begins to load the trash bags into the Suburban for our future stop at the dumpsters.

10:32 a.m. - Piper accidentally pulls the basket of magic markers down off the craft table, spilling markers all across the sunroom floor.

10:33 a.m. - Bergen screams from the bathroom that he needs someone to wipe his bum.

10:34 a.m. - Magnus comes flying in the door Riley has left open while carrying out trash bags.

10:35 a.m. - The telephone rings.

10:36 a.m. - A child screams as Magnus gets a tad too close for comfort.

10:37 a.m. - London shoves the phone in my ear.

10:38 a.m. - Magnus knocks Piper over and licks her face. Piper does not respond well to this affection.

10:39 a.m. - Mosely finds herself within my field of vision and I notice something brown on her freshly ironed skirt.

10:40 a.m. - London confirms that the brown spot is actually poop.

10:41 a.m. - Mosely cries as she has to go change out of the prized skirt.

Has anyone told these kids that I am nursing an infant here?

In the end, we end up being late for Riley's tutoring session, despite the fact that it was moved to a later hour.

When we finally return home I discovered that Piper's sheet never found its place on her bed and that the reason Mosely's skirt had poop on it was because Bergen never got a response to his screaming request of someone wiping his bum so he did a pretty poor job of it himself, leaving poop on the toilet seat, which Mosely managed to brush against, thereby smearing her tidy pleats.

And in the evening . . .

8:20 p.m. - Bergen exits his bed and approaches the living room in tears.

"Why are you crying son?" I asked, through clenched teeth.

"Because of what Mosely said," he answered.

"And what did Mosely say?"

"She said that butterflies don't eat nectar, but I know they do."

All in all, I guess it was just another day.

(You know, this post sat on my computer screen for two days before I could push "publish".)