28 August 2009

No Longer

No longer will I pass judgement upon you when I hear your kid screaming six aisles over while shopping at Wal-Mart. Perhaps you have just run over your daughter's hand with the grocery cart and that is the reason for her ear-piercing wails.

No longer will I assume you are lazy when I see you leave your shopping cart in the parking lot, far away from the cart return place. Maybe you just left the store without finishing your full purchasing potential because your daughter's hand was crushed and your infant son needed to eat and your six year old daughter had just informed you that your toddler's car seat had not actually been attached to the car's seat belt for the entire length of the ride to the grocery store and returning that %$@# cart was just the last thing you really cared about doing right then.

No longer will I question your fashion sense when you are that lady who is awkwardly wearing sunglasses on over her regular glasses. Maybe your lousy right eye has been irritated for two days so you cannot possibly wear your contacts and the bright sunlight severely inhibits your ability to drive safely and you have stayed at home as long as you could and now you just need to get to the grocery store so you can accidentally run over your daughter's hand, put your toddler in danger by failing to recheck the car seat, cause your infant son hunger by delaying his morning nursing and give the grocery store employee a reason to hate humanity by leaving your shopping cart two hundred feet away from the return cart station.

8 comments:

  1. Wow...rough day? Sounds like everyone there needs a good nap - especially Mama. Hope you get it!

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  2. I hope today is better:)
    I'm a hopeless carriage in the parking lot leaver. mostly because I'm lazy.

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  3. Abbey's comment made me laugh, because I am the exact opposite. Granted I don't have the responsiblity of having myself little humans, which requires being much more attentive to them and not the dang cart. But until that day comes, not only do I feel the need to place my cart in the designated return cart station, I have an odd obsession of rearranging all the other carts in front of it so that they are all placed together in a neat, straight, connected line. Your blog gives me hope that perhaps that will change one day when obsessive compulsive habits like that can't be given enough time because other things are much too important. :)

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  4. Sarah,
    I feel your pain. The guy pushing carts should slip me a five for all the extra work I do at the carriage stall. It's a curse

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  5. I decided when i had my daughter that I would not feel guilty about leaving my shopping cart in the parking lot. Somehow, leaving my infant daughter alone in the hot car while i return the shopping cart to the corral seemed more inhumane than forcing an employee (who gets PAID to collect the carts) round up my cart.

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  6. See Sarah and Rich - we need people like you to help out people like us. I really used to put the carts back in their homes. And one day, I will do it again! Until then - thanks for your help!
    And thanks Marion - I knew the car return places had a name -- corral!!!

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  7. Oh, I'm screaming!! Have I mentioned I love your blog!! This is hilarious . . . uh, now that it's over!!

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