Read this ...... it's better than anything I could put up here anyway.
All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-serving through and through;
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
Peace, reassurance, pleasure are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin;
I talk of love - a scholar's parrot may talk Greek -
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.
- C.S. Lewis